Easy, quick and painless ways to kill myself?

Sounds like you are making a lot of excuses as to why you cannot do it so don't think you are really serious about it. Anyone really wanting to kill themselves can easily do it just by jumping in front of a huge fast running train, jumping off a tall building or bridge, etc. There are a million ways to end it. You are just crying for help so please try to get the help you need before you really do become serious. Suicide attempts that seem to fail all the time is a call for help.